See pages 12-19. John saw the hospital as a self-contained social world, a mysterious place separate and distinct from everyday life. Remember this was his first stay in a hospital having been healthy his entire life. What was his experience in the hospital like?  What are three words that come to mind that describe his experience in the hospital?  He writes about his nurses and the doctor-patient relationship? How do nurses and doctors help (and not help) patients?  What do we expect from nurses and doctors as technical experts but also as “healers”?

See page 21. See John’s call out in bold text and his “credo. To use John’s words, “how does good come out of adversity”?  Is that true in your life experience?  What is your own “credo”?

See page 22. What was special about John’s unexpected call from Yvonne Kane? Can we think of this call as a moment of grace?

See pages 23-24. John admired Dr. Berne Siegel and found his books and tapes very helpful. What resources have been helpful to you in facing great adversity, in coping and moving forward in the face of adversity and illness?

See p. 25. John felt “relieved” to be home. Our homes are safe places. Places of sanctuary. How can you help and support a loved one feel most “at home” during their journey to an unwanted place?

Family dynamics are complicated. See pages 32-32. See the call out in bold. How was this a good moment? A quiet, intimate, affirming moment for all? In particular, what do you think John found important in this moment?

John says “I am a realist”. He valued “the facts”. What are the challenges you face in coming to terms with “the facts” and talking about your illness openly with others?

See pages 35-37. We see John 3 months after his surgery and after a first round of chemo and radiation. What was difficult in his treatment? How is he now different?

See pages 46-47. What was special about the California trip he took with his eldest son? How was this a transformative moment for John? Have you experienced such a trip that was transformative?  What did you learn?

See page 37. John calls himself a “stoic”. What did he mean? What is your deeper sense of who John was? His strengths. His character. His personality. His falling short. His regrets. His hopes.

See page 40. John describes short, two-three day, visits to the New Jersey shore, time spent with his and Nancy’s very close friends. What is special about walking on the beach with a good friend?

See pages 40-44. John has a mysterious visit from two acquaintances, Helen and Steve. He is “prayed over”. He sees and understands this mysterious and serendipitous visit as “grace filled”. What intrigued and surprised you here?

See page 62. John and Nancy “danced around the room”. They were ecstatic with the news of “remission”. Imagine that kind of day in your own life. What do you hope for from your time of remission?

See pages 65-66. John’s business venture (Seafood America) was a failure and a source of great stress and distress in his life. See his call out in bold. What counsel does he offer us here?

In many ways, chapter 7 is the apex of this book. Here John introduces us to “the eternal now”. See pages 79-80. What is “the eternal now”?

John suggests we all experience glimpses of “the eternal now”, mysterious moments in everyday life where we are most fully alive. Moments where we find God. Moments that point to something more, something deeper in our lives. Where and when did you have illuminating moments like John points to in your life? What did you learn? How were you changed?

See pages 81-82 and Appendix 3. What was your reaction to John’s reflections on his 67th birthday? His inner honesty is a great gift and possibly a burden. How do we find the courage to move forward in the face of a terminal illness?

See pages 84 and 85. How is John “a new man”?

See page 89 where John talks about “quiet acceptance” and also page 93 from his private journal where he says he “hit bottom”. We see both the light and the dark here. What is John teaching us?

The caring of memories. See his daughter Pat’s endorsement on page v, see Michael’s recollection of “that drive” on pages 10-11, see Jack’s recollection about Seafood America and watching sunsets in Appendix 7; and read Joe’s recollections of his Father’s passing in the Afterword on pages 116-118. What did his four children learn from their Father? How does “the caring of memories” heal us?

Remembering moments in a life. See the life history photos in the center of the book. What were your feelings as you looked at these “Cinema Paradiso” photos? We see here the “lived” story of a life?  We see “wholeness” in a life. What gave John’s life coherence and meaning?  What can you learn from his well lived life?