“How can I ever adequately thank you for your father’s book – for its beauty, its courage, its candor, its brilliance, its faith, its love – and for entrusting such an extraordinary gift to me? I have spent all day reading it, and it has entered deeply into my heart and my soul.”

— Dr. Renee C Fox, Annenberg Professor Emerita of the Social Sciences, University of Pennsylvania; author of numerous books in the sociology of medicine and bio-ethics.

“A religious believer’s journey with cancer to unwanted yet courageously experienced places. A memoir of care of the soul. An intimate story of one man’s end of life where fear of pain, anxiety and death come to be replaced by a mysterious but grace-induced calm and readiness. A book of wisdom for the art of living and dying. The very stuff that caring of memories is made of. I shall not soon forget the man or the memoir.”

— Arthur Kleinman, MD, Arthur Kleinman, MD, Rabb Professor of Anthropology and Professor of Psychiatry and Global Health, Harvard University; author of The Soul of Care and other books

“I knew John Ryan growing up. His daughter is a very close friend. In his memoir, Mr. Ryan shows us the pain, the suffering, and, in an inspiring way, the hoping that encompasses his daily journey with cancer. We see him grappling with the raw reality of the loss of living and being. He makes abundantly evident that it is mastering his unwanted journey that brings the sacred, what he called ‘the eternal now,’ into the act of dying. He both captures and surrounds himself in God’s mysterious grace and carries that grace with him. This, in turn, shows him the way forward and shows us the way – the way of living in the sacred.”

— Nan Dobson, BSN, RN, Hospice Nurse and Volunteer

“I am understanding on a deeper level my hesitation regarding reading, and even more so, endorsing this extremely poignant book. John Ryan’s book is a call to face and travel beyond our deepest fears. The book chronicles the last 39 months in a life. It speaks to large fears, but, more importantly, it speaks to the longing and desire we have to know the spiritual world and to know others in our lives more deeply. John describes himself as an introvert, hesitant to reveal himself, thereby making the experience of knowing him even more profound. John tells the story of his illness. He writes with candor and grace. He takes us inside his world, inside his relationships, inside his journey to an unwanted place, but, in a mysterious way, his book does much more. It evokes, motivates, reinforces a profound sense of renewal and tenderness and hope toward life and others. To quote Henri Nouwen, ’I appreciate your life, I love you for being you and making my life richer for knowing you‘.”

—Eileen Pitone, Psychotherapist, Wyndmoor, PA

“Taking You to Places You Would Rather Not Go: A Journey With Cancer by John P. Ryan left me breathless and, above all, inspired by his courage, love of family, his spirituality, and by his indomitable will to never give up. He surely fought the good fight. Along his journey, he grew as a person and as a Christian by winning an intimate relationship with God through his suffering, prayer, and intense inner life. His companions along his journey are some of our finest spiritual writers; Thomas Merton, Henri Nouwen, and John S. Dunne. He learned from them and from his own soul-work that the ultimate wisdom of life is to surrender to God’s will, ‘Not My Will but Thy Will Be Done’.”

—Robert Waldron, author of Walking with Thomas Merton, Walking with Henri Nouwen, and other books

“Your father was a special person. The honest and forthright way in which he examined his own mortality, and the faith which it strengthened, is striking. I can’t imagine what it is like to have awareness of impending death and write such a lucid and detailed account. Far from detached, your father articulated his feelings and emotions, and certainly his faith, while describing the reality of terminal illness almost like a journalist. The strength he took from it and the dialog he had with his own beliefs, is described with great clarity and conviction. He was a student to the very end. Really, our courageous teacher and our faithful guide offering us markers in this uncharted terrain. His hunger to learn and understand, his faith, in his last months says something about the tenacity of the human spirit. He lived a rich life and lived it in a way that was examined and reflective. All these things are immense blessings.”

—Stephen Murray, Berlin, Germany, a friend and former colleague of John’s oldest son. They worked together at the Wharton Center For Applied Research in Philadelphia. Stephen met by good luck, John and Nancy, at the airport when they were traveling to Florida in 1993.

“I had the good fortune to meet John Ryan once. He, his son, and I had dinner in San Francisco. That California trip in October 1992, I came to understand, helped him in coming to terms with his illness. That trip is described in this book, The author generously shares his final journey, his last 39 months, with intimacy and grace. It is a very personal story that is honest in both the physical and emotional detail of coming to grips with the end of one’s life. As a caregiver to my father in his final years of life, I found the narrative both instructive and comforting. Although each person’s journey is unique, this story helped me be a more knowledgeable and caring companion to my father and better able to understand his reflections, fears, and ultimate peace during his final passage.”

—Karen Wall, Human Resources Executive, Retired, Wilmington, North Carolina

“This book reminded me of my own father’s ‘unwanted journey’. Like John Ryan, he too showed remarkable strength, courage, optimism, while facing fears, terror, even despair at times. Since my father was a quiet man, I found John’s insights and thoughts, his everyday coping and healing suggestions described in the “call outs”, particularly helpful. Most importantly, this book reminded me again, in new ways, how ‘faith’ can help us transform a fear of dying into a peaceful readiness for what John called the transition to ‘the higher plane’. Anyone who is facing death (or has a loved one facing death) will find this book inspirational, instructive, and, most of all, comforting in making that ‘unwanted journey’.”

—Ted R. Gambill, Retired AAA Business Executive, Athens, GA

“This is not really a book about how to die, but rather a book about how to live. This is a story of courage and toughness that, at the same time, is framed with tenderness and the fragility of humanity. The spiritual insights, the references to family, and the story of a precious and enduring marriage is richly described in this book and in John Ryan’s journals. A book that calls us to remember what really matters in life so that when we do reach that point of transition into another life, we can do it with no regrets.”

—Bob Fisher, President of Belmont University and co-author of Life is a Gift—Inspiration from the Soon Departed

“Taking You to Places You Would Rather Not Go is written with a rich and wonderful voice full of remarkable clarity. The journey of John Ryan captures an arc that we will all travel, yet provides a powerful insight into how each of us can be better spouses, children, siblings, grandchildren, colleagues, and providers to those that are making this passage. The vignettes from the hospital are a clear-eyed and timely perspective on what so many people have faced in the hospital during the COVID-19 Pandemic. A treasured gift and an empathic call to action. Wonderful insights for today and tomorrow!”

—Kirk A. Keegan, MD, MPH; Chief of Urology and Assistant Chief of Surgery, Nashville VA; Assistant Professor, Vanderbilt University Medical Center

“How many of us have lost a loved one not knowing what was inside their head or heart? Instead, we are left with an unanswered question or the lingering fear of taking this ‘unwanted journey’ ourselves one day. When I lost my mother, thankfully I discovered two decades of my mother’s heartfelt notes tucked in her little ‘God Boxes’. John Ryan, a husband, a father to four, and a grandfather, as he progressed through his own arduous journey with cancer, and very fortunately for us, shared his most intimate thoughts, a priceless treasure. Taking You to Places You Would Rather Not Go captures the profound courage and brilliance of a human being facing life’s ultimate test. His frank and revealing insights offer every reader an understanding shoulder as well as a ladder to step up to our most challenging journey.”

—Mary Lou Quinlan, Author, The God Box, Sharing My Mother’s Gift of Love, Loss and Learning to Let Go

“People have long wanted an explanation for why bad things happen to good people. The Bible’s oldest manuscript, the book of Job, grapples with this issue and the discussion may never end. Common wisdom in our time says ill fortune falls randomly across all humanity. That may be true. But so is this: some people have the makeup and experiences to wrestle with the horrors that life does bring—ordained or random—and are able to seek meaning. John Ryan, to our benefit, was one of them. I urge those who read this book, whether you are a newly diagnosed patient with a severe illness, a family member of the patient, a loved one, or a close friend, to do so with a highlighter in hand. Mark the parts that speak to your heart, to your place in this emerging drama. Then go back and read them periodically, like a devotional. John was able to mark a path. It was not straight. Few ways through a serious illness rarely are.  And it may not be exactly the right path for your situation. But I believe his book will point you in the right direction.”

—Bruce White, a former journalist and consultant, now retired; friend of the Ryan family; Tabernacle, New Jersey

“This book is a call ‘to begin again’. In reading and re-reading my Dad’s book, I remembered a moment that speaks for itself. It was a Saturday morning. I was visiting my parents. It was late 1994. My Dad was very sick, then. We were in the kitchen. We often talked sitting in their kitchen. He was writing his book. He said it was ‘grandiose’ and ‘self-serving’. Said he was going to stop. I listened. Time moved forward, and we talked about other matters. Before I left, I noticed he threw away the hand-written pages. I saw them in the kitchen waste basket. I took them out before I left and just left them on the kitchen table. I did not leave a note. The next day, my mother called me. She said he was writing again. An everyday moment remembered. A moment of grace experienced that day. He moved forward writing his important book. ‘Always, we begin again’. He taught me that.”

—Pat Ryan Dice, John’s daughter, Fernandina Beach, FL